This is ME...
Updated: Aug 1, 2019
What are you afraid of? Are you afraid of failing or succeeding? There will always be challenges and obstacles on your path to success. Don't allow yourself to be one of them...
You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them - Maya Angelou
When things are going good in my life, I am never completely able to enjoy them. I am always looking and waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for that bad thing to happen. Maybe it’s because of the terrible things that I have experienced in my life. Things that have made me feel less than. I’m not worth anything good happening to me and if it does, it was by sheer mistake. Also, when good things happened to me, I felt I had to get approval from others to enjoy it. I’ve heard people say, “she doesn’t deserve....” Seriously, getting approval from others? Yes, and I then started thinking the same thing; maybe I don’t deserve it. However, it is what I told myself that was the problem, not what others said or thought about me. Because, as RuPaul says, “What other people think of me is not my business.”
I have just introduced you to my self-sabotage. How many times have we said or heard the saying, “I’m my worst enemy”? Believe me, that was my excuse for everything that I did when I “screwed up” things in my life. I would say to myself and others, “you know, I’m my worst enemy”. I thought saying those words would make my actions of self-sabotage more acceptable. Well, it’s NOT acceptable.
Another type of self-sabotage…Have you ever self-sabotaged your relationships? Ending the relationship before the person had a chance to hurt you. Getting out of it before you were left. That was me as well. Again, me waiting on the other shoe to drop. But hurting people is wrong because in preventing myself from being hurt, it ended up hurting two people, the person I hurt and myself.
As a life coach, I have asked my clients to look in the mirror and say, “I love you” to themselves; to compliment themselves; and to keep doing that until they believed it. But being in self-sabotaging mindset you would say, “I love you!” with your words and think, “I hate my body”; “who would love someone like me?” This too is NOT acceptable.
For me, I had to answer these questions. What would happen if the other shoe dropped? Would my life be over? OR What would happen if the other shoe didn’t drop? Would I be happier? Well, the answer to all is that life would still go on. By waiting on that worst thing to happen, I was denying myself the true blessings that are out there JUST FOR ME!
Am I saying that those self-sabotaging thoughts never enter my mind? NO, I’m not. What I am saying is that I will continue to tell myself, “I love you”. I will continue to look/seek the best instead of the worst.
So, let’s take a deep breath….hold it for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…now exhale…take another deep breath…hold it for 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…now exhale. As you exhale, embrace who you were, who you are and who you are becoming. You are deserving, you are worth it, and you are enough. The power is within you.